I had finally found words to detail my feelings about Valentine’s Day, but they escaped as soon as I went to set them to pixel. I’ll try to muddle through.
It’s become cliche to say one doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, that it’s so crass and commercial, that it’s simply for suckers. I can’t say I disagree, but the truth is I’ll enjoy a token of affection on that day just the same as any other day. Of course, a thoughtful gesture on any other day might be met with a little less suspicion of peer pressure, but there it is.
If I see a small delightful gift and am of the mind to give it, of course I will. Likewise, were I to gift on the 14th Feb, it would be more from a sense of not wanting to seem callous and assume the other party had Holiday Apathy also (though you’d have hoped it would have been discussed already).
I am looking forward to catching Die Hard 5 tomorrow. It’s an interesting choice for a (very deliberate) Valentine’s Day release movie.
I’ll be watching it alone, as I do most movies, but I enjoy knowing that over in America, across all the states they live in, my gaming clan will be taking their sweeties to watch it for a subversive Valentine’s date.
Before I went overseas, I’d been going through the motions for some time. Maybe even years. Getting up, going to work, coming home, wasting time. Never quite making enough effort to make things happen, to see friends often, to do things that made me happy.
Deserts have a history in narratives of self-discovery. I don’t think I discovered myself, but I think I maybe broke out of just being so numb all the time.
To feel things so intensely again was a joy. No one trigger, but many things all together – feeling independent again, going with the moment, trying new things, feeling that thrill, excitement, actual goddamn feelings again. I also know now what my first ink will be.
It’s time to stop forgetting, time to start getting on with things. Promptly.